suraya's twentyfourseven

what does it feel to be good and excellent all the time? Can’t relate. I’m such a dumb girl. ....

suramnya hari ini sesuram hati ini. 1740 // 26 Mei 2019 // Brighton, England

nothing just me missing him very much. "deep inside your heart, no one can ever replace him right?" whenever I feel that I'm all alone in this world, I will always think about him. I don't know why.

damn tired. like tired tired. bukan buat apa pun. why can't I be ceria all the time. and does not have any bad feelings towards other people. you really need to learn how to let go suraya. IT WAS NOT A BIG DEAL. meh tak dendam pun. takde nak ungkit pun. cuma entah itu ruined my mood and also my mood towards other people around me. damn. I should learn how to control myself. and I should learn that this world does not revolves around me. I have to accept whatever happened to me even if it didn't goes the way I want it to be. change suraya change. it's okay suraya. get a sleep and start fresh tomorrow. nothing's happened today. ini baru sikit girl. takde apa ni. takpe takpe. life is hard.

oh it is almost that time of the month been crying for 3 nights straight for no legit reason no wonder somehow I hate being like this it ruins my momentum but what can I do (this is me after crying so sudden and wondering why did I cry so much this week) april 1 // 2100

if it's good, why is it scary? just thinking of it make my heart races.

being here as who I am right is not easy.  and yes, I'm avoiding the word "difficult" because I don't think that it is difficult difficult but it is also not easy either. haha haih that's how complicated I am. yeah of course nothing is easy in this world but me, knowing myself, I can't believe that I'm here right now achieving most of my dreams and wishes. I've never, in my whole 20 years something life (I feel old huhu), really work hard for something. I mean at least from my own point of view, I think that I'm always lazying around and procrastinate most of the time. BUT I got what I want, things that I've always wanted since I don't know, 5 years ago? being here right now, I won't say that I'm successful, I still have a lot more to achieve and currently I have nothing to be proud of hm. so, the main point I'm writing this, is because I think that I don't deserve all this cause 1) I've seen a lot of people struggle...